Distraction
by KoliMouse
Summary: Olivia needs help dealing with the allegations of child abuse against her. She calls the one man she knows she can trust. Rated for later chapters.
1. Distract Me

**A/N: So, this story starts immediately after "Gone Fishin'". This is the things we don't see on screen, as I'd like them to happen, because well, that's what FanFiction is for. I own nothing you recognize.**

 _"We're investigating you, Liv."_

It took her a few minutes, but she got rid of Cassidy, shut the door and walked back to Noah, trying to keep her emotions in check, getting Noah his ice cream, spaced out that she didn't hear Noah calling her at first. "I'm sorry, sweet boy. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? Who was that man?"

"Just an old friend of mommy's. It's okay. How about you eat your ice cream and then we'll read a story and go to bed? Sound good?"

"Okay mommy."

Olivia gave him a smile and kissed the top of his head as she ate his ice cream, holding him to her chest and closing her eyes. She let him go and took out her phone and pulled up his contact. She debated for a minute, but she called him, silently begging him to pick up. "Ed?" She let out a breath, forcing the tears back. "I need you."

Once Noah finished his ice cream she had him brush his teeth and climb into bed, and read him a story. She turned out his light and kissed his head. "I love you, sweet boy. Don't ever forget that," she whispered and hugged him tight.

Noah hugged her back. "I love you, too, mommy."

She smiled and walked out of his room, closing his door. She leaned against the wall and let a tear roll down her face. She poured herself a glass of wine, she looked at it, and dumped it down the drain. She heard a knock at the door and opened it. "Thank God you're here." Her arms flew around him and she cried on his shoulder.

Ed instinctively wrapped her in his arms. "I'm here. It'll be okay." He whispered and rubbed her back.

Olivia shook her head. "No, it won't." She sobbed and pulled away from him, wiping her eyes, letting him in.

"What happened?"

She shook her head and let out a scoff. "Brian Cassidy showed up at my door about 45 minutes ago. He's working as an investigator for the DA's office. He came to tell me about a case he caught." She shook her head and fought the tears. "They're investigating me Ed." She paused and met his eyes, he could see the tears she wasn't willing to let fall. "For child abuse."

He stepped towards her. "What!?" He realized Noah was probably in bed and he moved closer and moved her to the sofa. "Why?"

Olivia took a deep breath. "Noah has a bruise on his arm. A few days ago, when this whole Byron Marks case started, I was walking Noah to school. We were at a corner, my phone rang, I told Noah to wait a minute. The signal changed to walk, he started walking and a cab came barreling down the road and almost hit him. I grabbed him and pulled him out of the street."

"Which gave him the bruise."

She nodded. "Only after I dropped him off my head went in thirty different directions. I didn't notice the bruise on his arm, so when the school called about it, I assumed he fell or a kid gave it to him. Then his teacher called me in, and said Noah told the nurse that I gave it to him, and I still didn't remember pulling him out of the street. She asked if the stress of my job led me to physically act out, against Noah." She looked at the floor, feeling a tear slide down her cheek. "She said she didn't think… but she had to see for herself. I thought it was over." She shook her head and wiped her eyes. "Noah reminded me later that night…" she shrugged. "I can't lose him Ed." She closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face.

He rubbed her back. "Liv, no CPS worker would take him from you in a million years. You're a wonderful mom."

Olivia looked at him. "Am I? Before he almost got hit by a cab, Noah told me he wished Lucy was his mom." She curled into his chest and sobbed. "He's all I have." She croaked and felt him rub her back in soothing circles.

Ed held her. "You've always got me."

She shook her head. "A year ago, I had everything I ever wanted. I had the man of my dreams, a little boy who loved me. Now I'm single again and my son is at risk of getting ripped from my arms and I don't know how to handle it. I love Noah more than life itself. I can handle a breakup, I can't handle my son being taken away."

He wiped her tears and looked into her eyes. "Look at me." He saw her eyes meet his. "They aren't going to take him away." He caressed his face. "Every kid would be lucky to have a mom like you."

Olivia nuzzled his hand a little, forgetting how good his hands felt on her skin. "Stay a little longer."

"As long as you need me."

She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath, looking into his eyes and leaning in to kiss him softly. She pulled away and looked at him before kissing him again.

He pulled away from her. "Liv," he felt her kiss his neck and he pulled her up to look in her eyes. "Liv, you're upset. Is it really—"

"I'm not upset, Ed. I'm devastated, and I'm terrified. And yes, having sex with you will be a distraction. Maybe only for 30 minutes, but it'd be 30 minutes that I'm not thinking about my life falling apart. Please, be my distraction, Ed. Please," She begged, her head on his chest, tears streaking her face again.

He lifted her face. "I want to," he whispered. "But it wouldn't be fair to you. I want nothing more than to distract you from this all night, but Liv, we aren't together anymore. It'd be one night, the devastation isn't going to go away after tonight. Not until this witch hunt of an investigation is over. I love you too much to lead you on like this. And you have to feel this, as much as it hurts. I'll be here for you to comfort you, and soothe you, but I can't numb you to this."

Olivia almost got mad, but she was stunned when he said he loved her. "Did you just say you love me?"

Ed looked in her eyes. "Yeah. I do, Liv. That is why I can't numb you to this. But I'll hold you as you go through it."

She sat back and looked around. She closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. "God, I'm an idiot." She shook her head.

"What's wrong?"

Olivia looked back at him. "I love you, too. I love you." She let out a breath. "Why is it that every admission of love I have with a man comes on the heels of a breakup or six months later?" She shook her head.

Ed wrapped an arm around her. "Doesn't have to be that way."

She looked at him. "Ed, Noah is still my first priority. And work—"

"Olivia, you can have a kid, a job, and a man who loves you. All at the same time."

"It wasn't fair to you. We hardly saw each other."

"So I'll come over here more often. Hang out with you and Noah. We don't always have to go out. You have always wanted a family. I want to be a part of that."

"Yeah?"

"All I have ever wanted, Olivia Margaret Benson, was to make you happy. And you calling me tonight means a lot."

"You've always made me happy." She rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. "Promise me one thing," she whispered.

"Anything."

"Hold me up through this investigation, I don't know that I'll be able to get through this without you."

"I will, but you would get through this. You are the strongest person I know."

Olivia smiled. "Can I kiss you?"

Ed leaned in and captured her lips with his, caressing her face. He felt her smile against his lips and he broke the kiss, his forehead against hers. "Come on, let's go to bed, let me hold you."

She looked into his eyes and nodded. "Yeah," She let out a breath. "Thank you for coming over tonight."

He helped her up and led her to the bedroom. "I told you before, I will always be here for you, whenever you need me. That promise didn't stop being relevant when we broke up."

Olivia nodded. "I just—"

Ed put a finger to her lips. "I know." He caressed her face and led her to the bed, laying down with her, rubbing her back. "I never stopped loving you," He whispered. "There's no way I ever could, Liv."

She smiled and kissed him softly. "Ed, I've never loved anyone the way I love you. Even after… you're the only one I ever wanted. You're it for me, Ed Tucker. No one else could ever love me like you."

He held her close. "You have a long day ahead. Get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up."

Olivia looked into his eyes, a tight smile pressed along her face. "I love you."

Ed kissed her lips softly. "I love you, too." He brushed her hair out of her face. "Goodnight beautiful."

Olivia settled into his chest, feeling safe. She hadn't felt like this since he left. She hadn't slept like this in months. And even though she had a lot on her mind, for right now, she felt like everything was going to be okay.

The next morning, Olivia woke up to the smell of coffee and bacon, the sound of Noah's giggle. She smiled and took a deep breath, before the realization hit her. She got up and walked into the kitchen, seeing Ed and Noah. Noah was eating his breakfast and Ed was entertaining him. She walked over to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. "Morning." Her voice was shaky, dreading the day ahead.

"Morning, beautiful. Sleep okay?"

She nodded. "Thanks to you." She smiled and kissed his cheek. "And how are you this morning, my love?" She asked Noah.

Noah smiled. "I'm good. Tucker made breakfast!"

Olivia smiled at Ed. "I see that. That was awful nice of him, wasn't it?"

The young boy nodded. "I missed him. Is he going to stay longer, or was this morning just a treat?"

She looked up at Ed and raised an eyebrow. "What do you say, Tucker."

Ed wrapped an arm around Olivia's waist, but looked at Noah. "Bud, there isn't enough money in the world to get me to make this morning a one time deal." He saw Olivia's smile. "Want me to make you a plate?"

Olivia felt like no time had passed. "I'm not really hungry. My stomach's a little upset."

He kissed the side of her head. "Go get ready, I'll make you some tea. I'll get Noah to school." He leaned in to whisper to her, "just remember to breathe, baby."

Hearing him call her baby again made her heart flutter. She nodded. "Thank you." She looked into Ed's eyes and caressed his face. "I mean it." She punctuated her sentence with a kiss on his lips. She kissed Noah's forehead and gave him a hug before getting in the shower and getting ready for her meeting with CPS.

Once Noah was done with his breakfast, he helped Noah wash up, and then had him get dressed, he went to check on Olivia, looking at her closet, clad in a bra and panties. He came up behind her and nuzzled her neck. "I've missed this."

"Me in my underwear?" She asked, still trying to decide what to wear. "Shit." She whispered under her breath.

"The feeling of you in my arms. Tell me what's wrong."

She let out an incredulous laugh. "I don't know what to wear to defend myself against child abuse allegations." She turned and looked in his eyes. "It still doesn't feel real," she whispered and felt him draw her closer to his chest, gently swaying.

He kissed the top of her head, lifting her chin and kissing her gently. "Wear whatever makes you confident. You did nothing wrong. You saved your son. Throw on that badass Benson work attire that you wear so well, walk in there with your head held high, and remember that I love you, and that Noah loves you."

Olivia smiled and nuzzled his nose. "When does it get easier?" She asked softly, holding his hands in her own.

"I wish I could tell you, baby. But what I can tell you, is that I'm going to be here for you to help you weather the storm."

She pulled him in for a kiss. "I have to get ready," she whispered against his lips. She broke the kiss and closed her eyes.

"I'll take Noah and drop him off at school. You want me to come back tonight?"

"I'd like that." Olivia ran her hands over his chest. "I love you," she whispered again and kissed him one final time, cradling his face in her hands.

 **I hope you all enjoyed. More coming soon!**


	2. Stay With Me

**Second installment. Thank you for all the reviews! As always, nothing you recognize is mine. This picks up in the middle of Mood.**

Olivia picked up her phone as she stormed out of the precinct, calling Ed. "Can you meet me at my apartment in an hour?"

"Yeah, what's going on?"

"I'll explain later," she huffed and hung up, angrily walking towards where she knew Brian would be. She waited for him to come out and she confronted him.

She saw red. She wanted nothing more than to punch him, especially when he grabbed her arm, but she refrained. The last thing she needed was an assault charge while she was being investigated for child abuse.

"Next time, don't help me." She walked off towards her apartment, seeing Ed outside. She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside and onto the elevator, kissing him passionately as she waited for the elevator to get to her floor.

"Jesus, Liv, what the hell."

Knowing Noah was still at school, once the door to her apartment was closed she shed her blazer and blouse looking at him. "Take off your pants."

Ed looked at her. "Liv, I—"

She shook her head. "No, I'm angry. I need you to fuck me, because I'm livid and in mama bear mode, and the last thing I need while I'm under investigation for child abuse is an assault charge so I need you to take off your pants, and take me up against the wall. I'll explain it after, when I no longer want to kill Brian Cassidy."

He moved closer to her and pushed her against the wall, feeling her hands on his pants, unbuttoning them. She pushed them down, along with his boxers, his hands fumbling with her pants, all the while kissing her lips passionately. He pushed he pants and panties down, she got one leg out of her pants. He lifted her up and wrapped a leg around his waist, breaking the kiss, looking at her, caressing her face. "You sure this is what you want?" He asked, both of their breathing heavy.

Olivia nodded. "I don't just want it, Ed. I need it. I need you." She barely got the last word out when she felt him push into her. She let out a moan, closing her eyes feeling him starting to move. She moved her hips into his. "Oh Ed."

Ed groaned, one hand resting on the wall. "God you feel amazing." He whispered and started kissing her neck.

She let out a whimper. "Baby! Harder," she gasped. She felt his thrusts get harder and she let out a loud moan. "Fuck me!" She begged.

Her moans only egged him on. He picked up both of her legs and wrapped them around his waist, moving inside of her harder and faster. He felt her nails claw at his back. The sound of their moans filling the air, along with the sound of the slapping of their skin. "Shit, baby."

Olivia's legs held on as tight as they could, but Ed was hitting all the right spots inside her. "Oh God, Ed." Her back arched and she gripped his biceps, her nails digging into her skin. "Shit, don't stop!" She begged as she felt her orgasm start to take over her body. She felt him slow as her walls contracted around him. "Oh, God, I'm coming!"

Ed rested his forehead against hers and kept moving. "Come on baby." He whispered and kissed her passionately. He felt her come undone around him and he released inside her. "Oh, God." He whispered.

Olivia let her legs fall and her head fall back. "Thank you," She whispered, closing her eyes.

He chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Never have to thank me. Just glad to see we haven't lost it."

"Lost it? Oh, baby never," she whispered, caressing his face. "I know you don't want to numb me to this but I was seriously ready to kill someone. Namely Cassidy," she spat the name out like it was poison.

"Okay, let's put clothes on, then I want you to tell me what happened." The two of them redressed and sat on the couch, cuddled up together. "Spill."

"Rollins was talking to me, apparently she went out with someone from the DA investigator's office who worked with Brian. Said that there would be no investigation into me had it not been for Brian Cassidy."

"What?" He asked sternly. "That son of a bitch."

"Yeah, but it gets better. He tells me that he told Michelle about Lewis and Lindstrom because he was trying to help me."

"Wait, they asked you about that?"

She nodded. "Michelle asked about Lindstrom, asked why I saw him. She had to drag it out of me. They're trying to blame everything possible, trying to make me into this crazy woman who went through trauma who sees trauma day in and day out who takes it all out on her son." She felt tears in her eyes.

He held her close and kissed the top of her head. "Nothing could be further from the truth," He whispered. "What Lewis did to you was horrible, and you came out of that a stronger woman. You fought your heart out to stay alive and to get your life back. And you weren't afraid to make changes in your life to get what you want. What you've always wanted."

Olivia wiped her eyes. "Mrs. Smiley asked me about Noah's father." She shook her head. "And apologized when I said he was deceased." She scoffed. "It took everything in me to tell her that she had no idea what she was talking about because his biological father was a monster who tortured and raped women for sport and profit." She took a deep breath. She looked over at him.

Ed rubbed her back. "Shh, shh, shh." He soothed. "You are the best thing to happen to that little boy. The best thing that ever could have happened. This is all really fucked up, I get it." He kissed the top of her head. "You ever read The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood?"

She turned and raised an eyebrow. "My mom was an English Professor," she chuckled. "Of course I did."

"Nolite te bastardes carborundorum." He whispered.

Olivia couldn't help but smirk. "You know that's not a legitimate expression, right? It's, for lack of a better term, bastardized." She kissed his cheek. "Illegitimi non carborundum."

Ed lifted her chin. "Wise ass."

She smirked. "You love my ass, regardless of how wise it is."

He kissed her gently. "You're right, I do," he mumbled against her lips. "Your ass, your lips, your face, your heart…" he felt her melt into his kiss. "I love it all."

Olivia broke the kiss and caressed his face. "I love you," she whispered. "More than I could ever say." She kissed him again, falling into an easy rhythm in kissing him, the way he kissed her made it known just how much he loved her.

A few minutes after they started their make out session, Olivia heard a key in the door and she broke the kiss gently. "Later," she whispered and kissed his lips before standing up and seeing Noah run in, his face lighting up when he saw her. "Hello sweet boy!" She hugged him tight.

Lucy smiled. "You're home early. Captain Tucker, hi."

Ed nodded as he watched the woman of his dreams hold onto her son for dear life.

Olivia smiled. "I needed a minute to clear my head," she smiled up at Lucy, finally letting Noah go. "Something I needed to get off my chest." She took a deep breath. "They'll probably need me to come back in at some point, they're out looking for the guy as we speak." As if on cue, Olivia's phone buzzed. "Like I said." She held it up. "Benson." She sighed. "I'll be right there."

Noah looked up at her. "You have to go back to work?"

Olivia knelt back down. "Just for a little bit. I have to go get the bad guy, and then I'll be back home. Before dinner," she kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry Noah. I don't want to leave either."

Ed got up and crouched next to her. "How about I stay here and hang out with ya til mommy gets back?"

Noah looked at Ed and nodded. "Can we watch cartoons?"

Ed chuckled. "Yeah, bud. We can watch cartoons. Maybe even have a cookie or two."

Olivia looked at Ed and shook her head. "You're amazing and I love you," she whispered and stood up. "Okay, I have to run and catch this bad guy, so I can come home to my two favorite boys." Ed stood with her and kissed her cheek. "I love you both." She kissed Noah's head and Ed's lips before walking out with Lucy.

"So, you and Captain Tucker?" Lucy asked.

Olivia smiled. "I nearly forgot how much I love him."

Lucy rested a hand on her upper arm. "Good for you."

The two women walked out and went their separate ways to finish their days.

Once everything was said and done at the precinct, Olivia stopped on her way home to pick up dinner and then walked into her apartment, finding out that the dinner she bought would be put in the refrigerator for now, because her boys had made her a special dinner. "What's all this?" She asked, a smile on her face, putting the bags in her hands down and picking Noah up when he came running into her arms.

"Tucker and I made you lasagna!" He kissed her cheek. "I missed you Mommy!"

Ed walked over and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Lasagna cups. Welcome home." He kissed her nose.

Olivia smiled. "Well aren't you the two best guys a girl could ever ask for in her life?" She kissed Noah's forehead and kissed Ed softly on the lips. "I'm going to go get changed into something more comfortable and wash up for dinner. I'll be out in two minutes."

Noah smiled and hugged her then got down and sat down to watch cartoons.

Ed pulled her fully into his arms and whispered in her ear. "Bedroom."

She complied and followed her lover into the bedroom. "You know we don't have the time to—" She was cut off by a passionate kiss. "Mm." She broke the kiss and smiled. "Noah."

He smirked and kissed her forehead. "I needed to kiss you." He held her and closed his eyes. "You know, I suggested take out, Noah wanted to make you a special dinner for how hard you work getting the bad guys off the streets."

Olivia smiled. "He's such a great little boy. And he has a great man to look up to in you," she whispered and kissed him one more time. "Let me get dressed so we can eat and wind down with Noah. Then we can do some more kissing," she chuckled and slipped from his arms, moving around, grabbing a pair of yoga pants, a tank top, and an oversized sweater. She started undressing and felt his eyes on her. "Like what you see?"

Ed walked over and helped her take her blouse off, gently kissing her neck. "I love what I see." He whispered. His breath sent chills down her spine.

He helped undress her, kissing her skin as he went along, she let out breathy moans, and a small groan when he got her down to her bra and panties and stopped. "Get me all ready to go when we can't do anything about it," she pouted.

He chuckled and ran his hands over her body. "Payback," He whispered and kissed her collarbone.

She pulled him away from her neck. "You'll pay for that later." She kissed him once more and quickly got dressed, deciding on a loose t shirt instead of the tank top and sweatshirt and she walked out looking back at Ed. "Coming?"

The two of them walked out into the living room and the three of them had dinner as a family. After, they cuddled up on the couch with some ice cream and cartoons. Ed got up and started cleaning up the kitchen while Noah and Olivia continued to watch cartoons.

"He's so silly mommy!"

"He is, isn't he?" Her phone buzzed. She saw who the caller was, it was Fin. But right now she just wanted to be with her son and Ed. Her little family.

"Work?" Noah asked, a disappointment in his voice.

"You know what? If it's important, he'll call back." She smiled and put her phone down, giving Noah a high five. Once he was distracted again with the TV, she took some whipped cream on her spoon, and casually put it on his nose. His jaw dropped and she smiled as he rubbed noses with her. They were both laughing so hard no sound was coming out.

Ed walked over to see the two of them with whipped cream on their faces and he chuckled. "I love you two."

Olivia leaned in and whispered to Noah. "Let's get him!" The two of them got up with whipped cream on their spoons and they moved closer to him to get it on his nose and cheeks. The three of them were laughing and Ed wrapped his arms around Olivia and kissed her quickly before picking Noah up. And kissing his cheek. "I needed this tonight," she whispered.

He held her and Noah and the three of them stood there for a moment in pure bliss. Olivia was overwhelmed in the moment and took a step back, taking a deep breath. "You Okay?" Ed asked, rubbing her arm.

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "I just need a minute," she whispered and walked into the bathroom to take a deep breath. Thinking that the moment she was having with Noah and Ed could be one of the last made her sick to her stomach. She heard a knock at the door and she opened it to see Noah on the other end.

"Mommy?" He asked, looking up at her. "Are you Okay?"

Olivia crouched down and hugged him tight. "I will be, sweet boy." She kissed his nose. "There's just a few things going on, but you don't need to worry about it."

"I'm glad you're my mommy." He said and hugged her.

She fought back a sob, but a tear ran down her cheek. "Me too, my love. I couldn't ask for a better son."

"Why are you crying?"

"I just love you so much," she picked him up. "Come on, let's go find Tucker." They walked back into the living room to see Tucker. She smiled. "Sorry."

Ed shook his head. "You have a lot on your mind." He kissed her forehead.

Olivia looked at her watch. "Oh! Sweet boy, it's time for bed!" She kissed his nose. "How about you go brush your teeth and wash your face?" She set him down and watched him run off to the bathroom. Another tear slipped down her face.

"You're not going to lose him." Ed whispered.

"Ed, this is me we're talking about." She whispered and wiped her eyes again. "When has anything good ever lasted for me?" She whispered.

He pulled her into hug so she could cry into his chest. "You have to stop doing that," he whispered. "It gets you here, and it's not healthy."

Olivia shook her head. "It's hard not to think that way when it's the only truth I've ever known." She looked into his eyes. "When the only truth I've ever known is not to get too happy, because it never lasts. From the time I was a little girl, Ed."

Ed caressed her face. "Let's break that streak then. I'm not going anywhere. Noah's not going anywhere." He wrapped her in his arms. "Your family isn't going anywhere." He lifted her chin.

She looked into his eyes. "I hope you're right," she looked down at the floor, falling into his arms.

He couldn't say anything more. So he just held her, resting his chin on the top of her head as she cried. He saw Noah come out of the bathroom and he kissed her head. "Your son needs you."

Olivia quickly wiped her eyes and turned to face Noah. "Come on my love, let's go read a story."

Once Noah was asleep, Olivia walked back out into the living room and saw Ed. "I'm sorry I'm all over the place tonight, Ed. I'm just scared. The catastrophizing is a defense mechanism."

"I know. And I'm here. But please don't shut me out, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay." She shrugged. "You still want to stay over? I could use a strong, muscular pillow tonight."

"Of course I do." He took her hand and walked into the bedroom with her, picking her up and carrying her to the bed. He leaned in and kissed her gently. "I want to stay with you as long as you want me here." He whispered against her lips.

Olivia smiled against his lips, kissing him again. "Stay forever," she whispered, pulling him into her body, holding him close.

 **Thanks for reading! Reviews make me happy, so leave me some!**


	3. I’ll Take Care of You

**Chapter 3, finally. Sorry this took so long. The past few weeks I've been going like the Energizer Bunny, according to my aunt. Hope you enjoy!**

Olivia was sitting at her desk when Trevor Langan walked in and dropped a bomb on her. Noah's biological grandmother appears out of nowhere and now she wanted to vacate his adoption. "Please leave." She said to Trevor. "Please leave."

She saw him leave and she picked up the picture of Noah looking at him. About five minutes later she put the picture down, picked up her things and headed for the door. "Fin, cover for me." She said as she walked out of the squad room to the elevators. Once she was out of the building she picked up her phone and called Ed. "Meet me at my apartment?" She asked gently and nodded. "See you soon."

She started off to her apartment, texting Fin to tell him that she was available if he needed her, but otherwise she'd be at home. Once she got to her apartment she took the elevator up and saw Ed outside her door with flowers. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you," she wrapped him in her arms and closed her eyes, breathing in his scent.

Ed held her close and kissed the top of her head. "Let's go inside and you tell me what's going on?"

Olivia nodded and opened the door. She put her things down and kicked her shoes off, sitting on the couch, cuddling up next to Ed once he sat down. "I can't catch a break, Ed."

"Talk to me."

"ACS and the DA just dropped their investigations, and Langan comes to my office today to tell me that Ellie Porter lied to me, her parents aren't both dead, her mother is still alive. Noah's grandmother is still alive. And she wants to vacate his adoption." She shook her head. "I think the fear of the investigation was in my head, my head made it worse. But this… I could actually lose him, Ed. I can't…" She shook her head and curled further into his lap.

He soothed her, rubbing circles on her back, trying to get her to calm down. "She's not going to take him, Liv. Not once she sees how happy her grandson is with you."

Olivia let out a breath and wiped her eyes. "I'm so mad at Trevor. He didn't verify the information Ellie told us." She shook her head. "But at this point…" she shook her head. "I'm so exhausted from all this that I can't feel it." She looked into his eyes. "This is wearing me down, Ed."

Ed pulled her closer and kissed her cheek. "You have to go back in?"

Olivia shook her head. "Only if Fin absolutely needs me."

"Okay, come on," He whispered and stood up, taking her hand and walking her into the master bathroom. "Bubble bath then a nap; sound good?"

She nodded. "Noah's going to be home from school soon."

"Let me worry about Noah. Right now you need to take care of yourself."

Olivia's lips curled into a small smile. "I love you," she whispered and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his lips softly. "I'm going to go get a change of clothes, can you run the water for me?"

Ed smiled. "I wouldn't dream of doing anything else." He watched her walk away and started running the water, making sure it was warm, but not too hot, adding vanilla bath salts and bubble bath and lighting some candles around the tub. He filled the tub and turned the water off just as she walked back in. He grabbed a hair clip and stood behind her and clipped her hair into a messy bun, kissing her newly exposed neck. "Bath is all set. I want you to relax, let all the stress wash off you, okay?"

She looked around, her eyes closing at the feel of his lips on her neck. "Okay. Thank you."

He helped her out of her blazer and took her loose blouse off over her head. "Anything for you." He kissed her once more and pushed her slacks over her legs, feeling her step out of them, reaching behind her to unhook her bra. His hands ran down her back to her ass as he broke the kiss, seeing her bra fall to the floor. "You're so beautiful," he whispered and kissed her neck as he pushed her panties off her waist, letting them fall to the ground.

Olivia placed a finger under his chin and guided his lips from her neck looking into his eyes, knowing her eyes had darkened with desire. "If you don't plan on getting in the tub with me and making me feel something, you better stop or it's the bath is going to be forgotten."

Ed smirked and leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Get in the bath, sexy." He bit her earlobe and helped her in the bath.

She sat back in the tub and looked over at Ed who leaned in and kissed her lips, his hand moving to massage her breast in the water. She pulled back and looked into his eyes, gasping. "What—"

"I'm making you feel something while staying dressed, in case we have an interruption." He grinned and kissed her neck, her chest heaving as his hand ran down her stomach reaching her slit. "You want me to do this?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip and nodded. "Make me feel." She let her hand slip under the water, moving his fingers to her clit where he started to rub in a circular motion. "Ed," she groaned.

Ed smirked and used his other hand to turn her face towards his, his forehead resting on hers as he slipped two fingers inside her, starting to move. "God, Liv," he whispered moving his fingers harder and faster inside her.

She grabbed at his shirt as she attached her mouth to his letting out a groan. She held his wrist with her other hand as her hips started grinding into his hand. She broke the kiss and let out a scream. "More," she begged, her eyes nearly black now, her chest flushed water splashing around her, some landing on the floor. "Don't stop," she begged in a whine.

He sat up on his knees, pushed another finger inside her and started moving faster and harder, a smirk on his face. "Not 'til you come baby." He pulled her into a kiss as his fingers moved in and out of her, his tongue finding hers, hearing her moans only egged him on. He knew she was close, so he moved his thumb in circles over her clit.

Olivia broke the kiss with a loud moan and arched her back as her orgasm tore through her. Her eyes never leaving Ed's as she ground her hips into his hand, riding the wave of her pleasure. She pulled his hand away once it was too much and she sat back, her chest heaving her eyes closed. "Oh my God," she smiled and let her head fall to the side and opened her eyes to see Ed. "Thank you."

Ed caressed her face and kissed her gently. "Feel better?" He whispered against her lips.

She nodded. "Yeah." She looked into his eyes and caressed his face. "I felt something. Since I threw Trevor Langan out of my office, I've been… numb. Until now. I don't want to be afraid of losing Noah. I know the law is on my side, but I—"

He kissed her forehead and nodded. "I'm right here, and no matter what, I'm going to fight for you, and for Noah. Because you are that little boy's mother."

Olivia nodded. "He has a grandmother Ed."

Ed found her hand and nodded. "I know. And I don't think the judge is going to vacate the adoption. But now he'll have two grandmas to spoil him."

She furrowed her brow. "Two?"

He chuckled. "Caroline Tucker has been dying to meet him." He kissed her softly. "And she's been dying to meet the beautiful woman that stole my heart."

Olivia smiled. "That, I can handle." She looked down. "I don't know, with Ellie's mom…" she took a deep breath. "I haven't even met the woman." She shook her head.

Ed smiled. "Okay, come on." He pulled the plug on the drain, he stood up and helped her up. "Careful, the floor's a little wet," he smirked.

She stepped out of the bath, he found a towel and wrapped it around her. "You take such good care of me." She rested her head against his chest. "We're going to figure it out, right?"

He smiled and kissed the top of her head, holding her tight to him. "You and I? Baby, we can do anything, as long as we're together."

Olivia looked up at him and kissed him lightly. "I should get dressed." She looked over him. "And you should probably change your shirt. You're all wet." She giggled and kissed him once more.

Ed broke the kiss and led her into the bedroom. "Watching you orgasm, baby… it's worth getting soaked for." He whispered in her ear.

She smirked over at him and dropped her towel, stepping towards her dresser, pulling out pink lace panties and stepping into them. "I take that was no pun intended."

He watched as she put her pink bra on, the bra only a shade or two lighter than her panties, that complimented her olive complexion well. "Pun definitely intended." He grinned and unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it in her hamper. "I'll do some laundry today if you want." He fished for one of his t shirts he knew was here and pulled out the old NYPD shirt, taking out a pair of his jeans and dropping his dress pants.

Olivia watched him as he undressed and she walked over to him, still clad in just her underwear. She noticed the bulge in his boxers and she ran her hands over his bare chest. "Let me help you," she whispered, a finger running under the waistband of his boxers.

Ed's breath caught in his chest at her statement. "Liv, you don't have to."

She bit her bottom lip and shrugged, pushing his boxers down, taking his hardened length in her hand, stroking him slowly. "I know I don't have to. But I want to," she whispered and dropped to her knees, looking up at him, still stroking him. "Can I?" She asked licking her lips.

He groaned at the contact of her hand, looking at her on her knees in front of him made his arousal more evident, his chest and neck flushing. His mouth went dry. "Whatever you want, baby."

Olivia grinned at the obvious effect she still had on him. She started slow, swirling her tongue around the tip. Taking it in her mouth and lightly sucking on the tip before releasing him, her hand still stroking his shaft. She looked up into his eyes as she slid her lips over him, slowly taking all of him into her mouth, moving back as his hips bucked into her mouth.

Ed groaned. She was amazing with her mouth. He was struggling to not come right then and there, he wanted her to be able to do whatever she wanted. When his hips bucked involuntarily he looked down at her. "Sorry."

She let him go with a pop and a smile on her face. "Am I complaining?" She tilted her head, letting her tongue run up the underside of his dick, seeing his eyes fall shut. She took him back in her mouth, both her hands coming up to wrap around him as her mouth moved over him, her hands moving with her mouth.

He held the back of her head, her eyes staring into his made him groan louder. "Liv, God, I'm not going to last much longer if you keep looking at me like that."

Olivia let him go again, still stroking him a smile on her face. "So come." She licked the tip of him again. "Come on baby, let me taste you. Come for me," she whispered, wrapping her lips back around him in time to taste him release in her mouth. She groaned as she swallowed every drop he gave her. She let him go and kissed up his body. "Better?" She asked as she kissed his neck.

Ed held her close to him as his chest heaved. "So much," He whispered and ran his hand over her smooth back. "You are the woman of my dreams."

She smiled and kissed him. "Well, then I guess it helps that you're the man of mine." She wrapped her arms around him. "Now, let's get dressed. Noah should be home soon, and him seeing us like this… he may need therapy."

He kissed her neck. "Wouldn't want that." He mumbled.

Olivia moaned softly. "No, so you may not want to keep kissing my neck." She closed her eyes. And tilted her head.

Ed smiled and rested his forehead against her temple. "Sorry, you're so sexy," he whispered.

She grinned and put her hands on his chest, running her hands over his pecs. "Now, let's get dressed before we can't control ourselves any longer." She winked and broke from his embrace, slipping into yoga pants and a t-shirt, letting her hair down from the clip.

He looked at her and smiled. "I love you, Olivia." He quickly got dressed, opting for sweats for now instead of the jeans.

"I love you, Ed." Olivia held her hand out for him. "Come, hold me until Noah gets home." She lay on the bed and felt him spoon her from behind, holding her close. "Mm."

Ed cuddled up next to her. "Sleep, baby," He whispered. "I'm right here. I'll take care of Noah when he gets home, just rest." He ran a hand over her side, kissing the back of her head.

She smiled and closed her eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep, holding his arm around her body.

He held her close, watching her sleep until he heard the door open. He kissed the back of her head and slowly got up from the bed, careful not to wake her. He walked out of the bedroom and smiled at Lucy. "Hi, Lucy."

Lucy smiled. "Oh, Captain Tucker, I wasn't expecting anyone to be here. I hope I wasn't interrupting—"

Ed smiled. "Not at all. Liv's had a bit of a rough day, she's in the bedroom taking a nap. I told her I'd take care of Noah while she rested."

Her face looked worried. "Is everything okay? Is there anything I can do?"

He smiled at the younger woman's compassion for her boss. "She'll be okay. I'd tell you but it's not really my place."

"I understand. If there's anything I can do let me know. Even if it means watching Noah so the two of you can have some time to relax."

"Thank you Lucy, I'll let her know when she gets up. Have a good night."

"You too, Captain."

Ed walked Lucy out and looked at Noah. "How was school today kiddo?"

"It was good," the young boy shrugged. "We had extra art time today! I got to paint, it's still at School, it had to dry."

"I bet it was awesome, Noah. I'm sure mommy will love it when you get to bring it home."

"Where is mommy?"

"She's taking a nap, she needed a bit of rest, but I'm sure she'll be up soon."

"Is she sick?" Noah asked, knowing something wasn't right lately with his mom.

"She's just a little sad. But you know what I bet would cheer her up, if you made her a card."

"I can do that! We can watch cartoons while I make it?"

Ed smiled and ran his fingers through his curls. "You bet, No." He turned on the TV and got him some paper and crayons while he tried to figure out dinner. "What do you think about pizza for dinner tonight?"

Noah looked up at him. "That sounds good. I think mommy would like it."

He nodded. "Me too." He waited a bit before ordering the pizza, letting Olivia sleep until the pizza got there, once the delivery got there he got Noah set with his pizza then quietly walked into the room, smiling at the woman curled up asleep on the bed. He caressed her face before leaning in and kissing her lips softly until she started to stir, and he pulled away. "Baby."

Olivia's eyes fluttered open and she let out a small groan. "What time is it?" She asked, sleep still evident in her voice.

Ed smiled and ran his thumb over her cheek. "5:30. Dinner just got here. Pizza."

She smiled and turned her head to kiss his palm. "You're wonderful. And Noah's been good?"

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Perfect, just like his mom." He looked into her eyes and leaned in and kissed her lips. It wasn't rough, it wasn't fervorous. Ed put every ounce of love he had for Olivia in his kiss.

Olivia held him to her as she kissed him back, sitting up, one arm around his shoulders with her other hand resting on his jaw and neck. She pulled back when she needed air, and she looked at him, a smile on her face. "I love you, too." She bit her bottom lip and ran her hands over his chest. "Thank you for watching Noah while I slept, and I'm sorry it got so late. You could have woken me earlier."

Ed shook his head. "I love spending time with him. Never have to thank me for that. As for waking you up earlier, I was fine, Noah's all set, and you needed your rest." He kissed her forehead. "I wasn't even sure whether to wake you for dinner, but you need to eat."

She smiled and kissed him one more time. "You take such good care of me," she mumbled against his lips. "How can I ever repay you?"

He looked at her like she was nuts. "Repay me? For loving you? Liv, baby, just love me back. Let me love you."

Olivia held his face in her hands. "I already love you, so much." She hugged him tight. "I know don't make it easy to love me sometimes," she whispered and nuzzled into his chest.

Ed rubbed her back. "You're stubborn, but Liv, I don't care how hard you make it on me. I'll always love you. I like a challenge."

She chuckled. "I love you. And I'm sorry I can be difficult. I'm trying."

He kissed her forehead. "You wouldn't be the woman I fell in love with if you weren't stubborn like you are." He kissed her lips once more. "Olivia Margaret Benson, I love you."

Olivia smiled. "I love you, Edward James Tucker." She kissed his cheek. "Now, you said something about pizza?"

Ed chuckled. "Come on, beautiful, let's get you some food."

They walked out together, seeing Noah finishing his piece of pizza. Olivia walked over to him and kissed his head, hugging him tight. "Hello, sweet boy."

Noah smiled and hugged her back. "You feeling better now mommy?"

She smiled and nodded. "Now that I have my boy in my arms, how could I be sad?" She held him close. "Were you good for Tucker today?"

The young boy nodded. "I made something for you!" He got up and ran over to Ed who had him wash and dry his hands and wiped his face before he picked up the pictures he drew for Olivia. He ran back to her and climbed in her lap. "Tucker said you were feeling sad, so I drew you these."

Olivia looked at these and smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. "These are beautiful, Noah. Thank you!" She hugged him tight, never wanting to let go. "I'm going to put these up on the refrigerator, so I can see it whenever I get sad."

Noah smiled. "I'm glad you feel better."

"Me too." She kissed his nose. "I'm going to have something to eat, and then how about we cuddle until bedtime?"

"Can we read?"

"Anything you want, my love." She kissed his temple. "Go pick out some books while I eat real quick okay?"

She saw Noah run off to his room. She got up and picked up a piece of pizza, bumping Ed's hip with her own and took a bite of her pizza. She kissed his cheek and kept eating. "And once Noah is asleep, we can have a little fun," she winked and finished off her pizza.

Ed waited until she finished chewing and kissed her passionately, his tongue moving in her mouth, holding her hips. He heard her groan and he pulled back. "You are the best mother in the world."

Olivia pressed her lips to his in a quick kiss. "I couldn't ask for a better man in my life." She nuzzled his nose and closed her eyes, hearing Noah call out for her. She smiled and kissed Ed once more before turning and walking into Noah's room, seeing that he'd put himself in pajamas and had a few books picked out.

Noah smiled. "I have books picked out, and I put on my jammies, just in case I fall asleep."

She smiled. "Well aren't you a smart boy? Come on,what should we read first?"

He handed her a book about a bunny and his mom and she started reading when there was a knock at the door. "Did you invite someone over?"

"No, you did." He responded.

"No, I didn't." She got up and kissed his temple. "I'll be right back, stay right here." She walked out and looked at Ed. "I'll be a second," she whispered and kissed his cheek, walking to the door and opening it, a woman standing there.

"Olivia Benson?"

"Yes."

"I'm Sheila Porter, Noah's grandmother."

Olivia felt the air leave her body, she stood there trying to figure out what to say.

"Can I see him?"

Olivia scoffed. "We're actually settling down for bed. If you'll excuse me." She shut and locked the door in Sheila's face and turned back, her breath speeding up.

Ed saw her. "What happened. Who was that?"

She shook her head. "Uh, some woman named Sheila. Ellie Porter's mother."

He rested his hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

Olivia took a deep breath. "I will be. I have to go finish putting Noah to bed before I can deal with this," she whispered and looked in Ed's eyes. "Just… be here after I get him to bed."

Ed kissed her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are always appreciated!**


	4. Lean on Me

**So I've been sick for the past few days so I had time on my hands to update. Also a quick note, if the only reviews you can give are body shaming Olivia for being "fat" when she's clearly not, save your time and energy, and mine, and don't even bother with my stories, and seriously, get a life. Without further ado, chapter 4**

Once Noah was asleep, Olivia closed his door and took a deep breath. She walked into her bedroom to find Ed and she climbed into bed next to him. She smiled softly and leaned in and kissed him. Quickly her kiss became deeper, she straddled him and broke the kiss to whip her shirt over her head, kissing his neck once it was thrown to the floor.

Ed kissed her back, holding her to him, but once her shirt came off he spoke up. "Liv, baby, what's going on?"

She whispered in his ear. "You have a half naked woman sitting on top of you, do you have to be such a gentleman all the time?"

He put a finger under her chin and lifted her face so he could see her eyes. He searched them, and in time the tears welled up and her lip quivered. "You don't want this," He whispered.

Olivia gasped and fell into his chest and sobbed, gripping his shirt. "She's real Ed," she cried into his chest. "I thought it was all a dream but she's real, and I don't know what to tell Noah." She wiped her eyes and fell back into his chest, feeling him rub her back. She took a few deep breaths and settled down. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I like that you're a gentleman all the time."

"I know," Ed smirked and kissed her temple. "And trust me, any other time, you, half naked, on top of me…"

She smiled and nodded. "I know." She closed her eyes and drew small circles on his chest. "God, how do I explain this to Noah?"

He rubbed her back. "Does he know about Ellie?"

Olivia sniffled and looked up at Ed. "A little. Not everything."

Ed caressed her face, wiping away some of the still wet tears. "Maybe he needs to know enough to be able to explain who Sheila is."

She took a deep breath. "Why couldn't she be old?" She grumbled and rolled to the side, still cuddling into him. "The woman is my age, Ed." She shook her head.

He held her close. "Hey, he's still going to love you." He kissed her temple. "But don't keep her from him. Give him the option, okay? Because if you do keep her from him and he finds out he'll resent you later. And so far she hasn't done anything worthy of not seeing him. Set the boundaries, Liv. You are his mother. If she does something that crosses the boundaries, say something."

Olivia nodded. "You're too good at this," she whispered. She looked up at him and kissed him softly. "What would I do without you?"

Ed smiled. "I don't know, but I know I'd be absolutely miserable without you."

She nuzzled his nose and kissed him softly again, a smile on her face as his fingers wound through her hair. His free hand ran down her back and she broke the kiss. "Wait, how are you so good at this?"

He smirked. "Kissing you?" He kissed her again.

Olivia pulled back again. "You know what I mean. The adoption stuff." She raised her eyebrow.

Ed sighed. "It's a long, painful story."

She sat up and looked at him. "And what I've told you is what, rainbows and unicorns?"

He sat up and wrapped her in his arms. "Okay. Just… don't hate me okay? When I tell you, don't hate me."

Olivia looked at him. "What is it?"

Ed took a deep breath. "I have a daughter." He saw her open her mouth to say something and he put his hand up. "She's an adult. I didn't know about her when my ex and I split. Carol didn't tell me, put her up for adoption, said there was no father and they took her word for it. I found out when she was about 10, and I asked to be a part of her life. I saw Jenna once before she turned 18. They wouldn't let me see her after that and never told me why. Once she was an adult, she found me. I see her about once a month."

She looked at him. "Baby, why didn't you tell me?"

He shook his head. "I didn't know about her for 10 years, then I saw her once. I wasn't exactly father of the year, Liv."

Olivia wrapped her arms around him. "That wasn't on you," She kissed him. "I'm sorry I got mad before."

Ed shook his head. "It's okay. I get it." He caressed her face. "She'd like you."

She blushed and kissed him once more, laying the both of them down, cuddled up into his side as she kissed him, his fingers threading through her hair once again.

He pushed her onto her back, his lips still kissing hers. He heard her giggle and he broke the kiss, looking down into her eyes, seeing nothing but love staring back at him he pushed her hair behind her ear. "You still want this?"

"You making love to me that's not about getting anger out or feeling something, but about loving each other? Yeah. Yeah, this is what I want." Olivia ran her hands over his shoulders. "You are what I want."

Ed moved back on his knees, pulling his shirt over his head. Settling over her. "You're so beautiful, he whispered, his chest pressing against her lace covered breasts. He kissed her neck and down along the line of her bra. He heard her gentle moans and he smiled. His hand slipping under her and quickly undoing her bra, sliding it off her shoulders.

Her back arched as her breasts hit the cold air, her nails scraping his shoulder blades. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she pulled him down to her and kissed him again.

He kissed down her neck, pulling a nipple into his mouth. He gasped and bit her bottom lip. He smirked and kissed down her body, his hands running down her toned stomach, gripping her hips as he kissed above the waistband of her pants, looking up at her. "I love your body," He whispered and pulled down her yoga pants and her panties, kissing her inner thighs looking up at her, breathing her in. "You're intoxicating."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and watched him. She felt his tongue lick up her slit and she let out a whimper. "Ed," she whispered as he settled in and started sucking her clit. She let her head fall back against the pillow, her hips pushing into his mouth. "Oh, my God!" She arched her back.

Ed kept his lips wrapped around her core, sucking her clit, his tongue working over her. He looked into her eyes as her hips started jerking against his mouth. Her whimpers and groans egging him on to not stop until her orgasm took over, it was only a few more minutes before she covered her face with a pillow and screamed as she came, hard, in his mouth. Once her licked her juices up he kissed back up to her lips and she groaned. "You taste so good baby."

She kissed him, her hand resting on the back of his head. "Make love to me Ed," she begged between kisses.

He pushed his sweats and boxers down and kissed her again, wrapping her leg around his waist, pushing into her. She gasped and he buried his head in her neck, stilling himself, giving her a chance to feel him, and a chance for him to feel her. He looked into her eyes and smiled. "Ready?"

Olivia caressed his face. "Always," she whispered, feeling him start to move. His strokes were long, and powerful, but slow. "Oh, you feel good." She smiled and gripped his back, her own back arching.

Ed kissed her and rested his forehead against hers as he continued his thrusts, at a painstakingly slow pace. Her hips met his each time. He wanted this to last, but he wanted to move faster. He was conflicted as to what to do.

She kissed him passionately, reading his mind she smiled. "We have forever Ed. You can go faster." She whispered in his ear, biting on his ear lobe gently.

He kissed her again and his thrusts started getting quicker, hearing her moans get more frequent and louder, despite her best efforts to be as quiet as possible. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer, but he refused to come without her. "Liv, I'm not going to last very long," he whispered.

Olivia pulled him close, moving her lips to his ear. "Keep moving, baby." She took his hand and moved it to her clit. "Oh, God!" Her back arched and she felt her orgasm building. Ed moved his fingers over her clit faster and it pushed her over the edge, pulling him in for a kiss, letting a loud moan out into his mouth.

Ed released inside her and he groaned. "God, baby." He collapsed on top of her once they both finished, kissing her lips. "I love you, so much."

She kissed the side of his face, her breath heavy. "I love you, too." Her hands ran over his back. "You're amazing," She whispered.

He rolled off her and gathered her in his arms. "Right back at you." He rubbed her arm.

Olivia nuzzled against his nose and kissed him gently. "I don't want this to end. I want us forever."

Ed lifted her chin up and looked into her eyes. "I'm here as long as you want me. I always have been. Whatever that means for now, the future. I'd follow you anywhere Liv."

She smiled at him. "Move in with me," she looked into his eyes and shrugged. "You've been here so much, you've been my rock. I want to fall asleep with you every night and wake up next to you every morning."

He looked down at her. "Yeah?" He saw her nod. "You got it," He whispered.

Olivia looked at him. "You want to though, right? You're not just doing it because I want you to?"

Ed smiled. "I would do anything to make you happy, but I assure you, I want this."

She bit her bottom lip, and rested her head on his chest. "You and me against the world."

"Forever," he whispered to her.

"Goodnight," she responded, kissing his chest. "I love you."

"I love you, too, gorgeous. Get some sleep."

With that the two of them drifted off into a peaceful sleep tangled up in each other. The next morning, Olivia woke up first, slipping on her panties and his t shirt that fell to mid thigh and walked into the kitchen and started making a cup of coffee.

She made herself a cup of coffee and looked out the window out to the city. A smile on her face. Right now, in this moment, everything was perfect. The man she loved was asleep in her bed, her son asleep in his bed. She sipped her coffee and heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and smiled. "Morning, sexy." She purred.

"How long have you been up?" He asked walking over to her in his boxers, wrapping his arms around her from behind, kissing her head.

Olivia smiled and leaned back against him. "Not too long. I was just reveling in how perfect my life is at this moment. You, me, and Noah under the same roof. A family. Nothing else matters right now."

Ed kissed her neck and set her coffee down, holding her tight in his arms. "The three of us can conquer anything." He kissed her cheek and then her neck. "You look incredible in my shirt."

She closed her eyes and smiled. "It's so comfortable." She turned in his arms. "Get some coffee and relax and I'll make breakfast." She kissed his lips softly.

He deepened the kiss, grabbing her ass and mumbling against her lips. "Can't I just devour you for breakfast?"

Olivia gasped and kissed him back. "As tempting as that would be," she giggled as he kissed her neck. "Food," she whispered when she moved his chin so she could see his eyes. "Playtime is later," she winked and kissed him once more before pulling away and walking to the kitchen, looking for something to make for breakfast.

Ed followed her and fixed himself a cup of coffee, watching her move about the kitchen, mixing and chopping and occasionally making flirty eye contact with him.

She felt him watch her and she bit her bottom lip, walking over to him to grab something behind him and she whispered in his ear. "See something you like, Captain?" She moved back with the spice she needed and kept cooking, coyly tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

He groaned and looked at her. "You're going to kill me." He watched her plate the eggs she made and put them on the counter for them before pulling her to him and kissing her, her body flush against his so she could feel his arousal.

Olivia gasped and let out a groan. She broke the kiss and looked at him, her breath heavy. "You, eat your eggs. I'm going to go put on pants, because Noah is going to be up soon." She kissed him once more and walked into the bedroom, slipping into a pair of yoga pants and came back out and started eating her eggs. "Hmm."

Ed looked at her. "What is it?" He asked, taking another bite of his eggs.

"Too much pepper." She wrinkled her nose.

"You're adorable when you wrinkle up your nose like that."

"You like the eggs?"

"A little extra pepper, a little extra spice. I like it. Spicy, like the woman who made them."

Olivia blushed. "Do you ever stop flattering me?"

Ed shook his head and leaned in kissing her. "Not a chance."

She bit her bottom lip. "So, if you want I can help you pack stuff up to move. Help you decide what you want to bring."

"I really don't need to bring anything except my clothes."

"Hey, yes I have furniture, but if you're moving in here, this isn't just my apartment anymore. It's ours. I want there to be touches of Ed Tucker in here, and not just when you touch me and make me moan."

"I don't know if any of my furniture goes with your decor."

"Ed, I bought all this with Brian. I'm not attached to the furniture. I'm attached to you. And if your couch is more comfortable than this and makes for a good makeout spot, bring it over." She looked in his eyes and winked.

"Our apartment, huh?"

Olivia nodded. "And we need some pictures. The two of us, the three of us." She ran her hands over his chest. She felt emotion rising in her throat, she closed her eyes and swallowed.

Ed noticed and caressed her face. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "You know this is all I've ever wanted. A family. Someone I can love, who loves me, someone to grow old with, raise a child with. You've given me that, Ed Tucker." She looked into his eyes. "And I will forever be in love with you, because of the way you love me, how amazing you are with Noah."

He hugged her and kissed her head. "You're all I want for the rest of my life."

Olivia looked at him and rested her hand over his lips. "Move in with me first. Know you can really live with me. Then finish that thought."

Ed kissed her fingers and held her hands in his. "You got it."

She leaned in and kissed him, her arms wrapping around him, his hands on her hips. They stayed like that for a few minutes until they heard Noah. "Mama?"

Olivia broke the kiss and winked at Ed, picking Noah up. "Yes, sweet boy?"

"Were you kissing Tucker?"

She smiled. "I was."

"Do you love him?"

"Very much." She looked from Noah to Ed, a smile on her face. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wonderin'."

Olivia laughed and kissed his cheek. "Well, since you're up, what do you think about Tucker coming to live with us?"

"Where would he sleep?"

"In my bed, it's so big." She winked at Ed, seeing his smile.

Noah thought for a minute and then looked at his mother. "Okay!"

Olivia chuckled. "Okay," she kissed his temple and put him down. "How about some breakfast before we get you ready for school?"

Noah nodded. "Can I have waffles?"

"You got it, my love." She kissed his nose. "Go sit at the table." She watched him run over and sit at the table and she went to the freezer and put two Eggos in the toaster for him, Ed coming up behind her and wrapping her in his arms. She closed her eyes and rested against him, holding his hands in her own.

"This is what you have to focus on," he whispered in her ear. "Mornings like this. Don't let the negatives anywhere near your thoughts."

Olivia turned in his arms and smiled, kissing him gently. "When I'm with you, the only thing that matters is Noah and you… and us." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "What's her name doesn't even matter." She saw the Eggos pop up and she put them on a plate with some butter and syrup, cutting them up for Noah, and pouring him a glass of milk. She walked it over to him and kissed his head. "Here you go sweetie. Enjoy."

Ed started cleaning up from before and Olivia wrapped her arms around Ed and looked at Noah, kissing Ed's shoulder blades. "I love that little boy."

She smiled and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Me too," she whispered and ran her hands over his arms. "Go sit. Relax." She rubbed his back. "I think Noah needs to know about Ellie. The whole truth." She nodded.

He kissed her temple. "Need me?"

Olivia took his hand in hers. "Always." She smiled. "Stay close." She kissed his knuckles and walked over to Noah. "Sweetheart, I need to talk to you about something, okay?" She saw him nod. "I don't know if you remember me talking to you about Ellie."

Noah though. "A little bit."

She nodded. "Well, kiddo…" she stopped trying to figure out how to put this. "You know Chase's mom had his little sister in her tummy, and she grew in there for a while until she was born?"

The little boy nodded. "Yeah, I remember feeling her kick. It was weird."

Olivia smiled. "Well, you didn't grow in my tummy." She wiped her eyes. "You grew in Ellie's tummy. And she was real sick, the people taking care of you when I found you didn't know how to take care of babies." She stopped and looked over at Ed, taking a deep breath and wiping her eyes.

Noah saw the pain in his mother's eyes and he was confused. "What does that mean?"

She smiled. "That means that I am your mom, but I'm you mom by choice. I got to choose you, out of all the other little boys and girls in the world, I chose you." She wiped her eyes. "But it also means that Ellie was your mom, too. And she loved you Noah. But some really really bad people hurt her, and she died. But the man responsible for all that, we made sure he could never hurt anyone else ever again."

He looked at her. "So, I have you mommy, and Ellie. Do I have a Daddy?"

Olivia took a deep breath, fresh tears forming in her eyes. She nodded. "He…" she looked away and shook her head. "He wasn't a nice man, Noah." She ran her fingers through his hair. "When you're older I'll tell you more, okay? It's a lot for such a little boy." She kissed his head. "Do you have any questions?"

Noah shrugged. "So if I don't have him, will I ever have a Daddy?"

Olivia opened her mouth and looked over at Ed, silently asking for help.

Ed had been listening and he walked over, kneeling in front of Noah and Olivia. "Whether you want to call me Daddy is up to you and your mom, but I'm here for you Noah. Always."

Noah looked between the adults. "Well, you love mommy, and mommy loves you. Like Chase's mommy and Daddy. Doesn't that make you my daddy?"

Olivia smiled and wiped her eyes, and she looked at Ed. "What do you say, Tucker?" She asked.

Ed held her hand and looked at Noah. "Yeah. If you want it to."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Noah, something I've had to learn over the course of my whole life, is that blood doesn't make a family. Love does. I didn't have a family until I was all grown up. But you. Noah I love you so so much. I fought for you, and I always will. And Uncle Nick, and Uncle Fin, and Uncle Sonny, and Aunt Amanda, and Uncle Rafi, and Munch all love you so much. And Lucy. Noah, we don't share blood, we don't share DNA, the stuff that makes you who you are, but we share a bond even greater than that. That's love."

Ed kissed Olivia's head and smiled at Noah. "And I love you too, little man. So much." He rubbed Olivia's back and kissed her head. "But you need to eat your breakfast."

Noah nodded and got off his chair and hugged Olivia tightly. "I love you, mommy. Thank you for picking me."

Olivia held him tight and closed her eyes. "I couldn't imagine picking any other kid in the world." She pulled back and looked at him. "You're my son, and I knew the second I found you that I was meant to be your mom."

Ed kissed behind her ear, and pulled them both into a hug. He kissed Noah's head and rubbed his back. "Okay. Eat those waffles before they get cold. Mommy and I are going to talk in the kitchen really quick, Okay?"

Noah nodded and hopped back up on his chair to eat his waffles.

Ed pulled Olivia into the kitchen and wrapped her in his arms. "I got you." He whispered. "It's okay."

Olivia cried into his chest silently, holding him tight, her body shaking. "What am I supposed to tell him about Johnny D?" She whispered, still shaking.

"Breathe baby." He whispered, rubbing her back. "Come on breathe with me." He got her to breathe and calm down. He wiped her eyes. "The hard part of the conversation is over for now." He kissed her forehead. "Just keep breathing, and lean on me."

Once Noah finished his breakfast, Olivia walked over to him and cleared his plate, helped him get ready for school and she smiled. "Watch some cartoons for a few minutes while I get dressed and I'll walk you in, okay?"

Noah nodded and she smiled, kissing his head. Olivia turned on the TV to cartoons while she walked into the bedroom seeing Ed in jeans and a polo and she licked her lips.

Ed walked over to her. "See something you like, Lieutenant?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "You know what seeing you in a polo does do me." She kissed him. "I need to get dressed and take Noah to school."

He shook his head. "Bed. I'll bring Noah in for you. Relax."

She smiled and kissed him softly. "I love you." She whispered.

Ed smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I love you, too. Now, hop back into bed, I'll be back soon, I promise."

Olivia smiled and climbed into bed. "Yes, sir." She laid down and closed her eyes.

He walked out to the living room and sat next to Noah. "Ready for school?"

"Mommy isn't taking me?"

"Figured I'd switch it up today and have it be us guys. I packed your lunch, part last night and part this morning."

Noah thought for a minute, but liked the idea of some time just him and Ed. "Sounds good Tucker! Let's go!"

They headed off to Noah's school while Olivia relaxed in bed.

 **A/N: Thanks again for reading, reviews make me happy, but again, if all you're going to do is comment on the imaginary weight problem Olivia has in your mind, keep it moving and get yourself a constructive hobby, rather than obsessing over a fictional character's body type.**


	5. Lazy Day

**Back with another chapter, ahead of tonight's episode. I want to do a special chapter for the episode tonight, so this is more of a filler. Enjoy!**

Olivia lounged in bed and scrolled through her iPad. She heard the door open and looked up at the bedroom door, looking over her glasses to see Ed. She took her glasses off and beckoned Ed to the bed.

Ed smirked and climbed into bed next to her and kissed her, his fingers tangling in her hair. He heard her let out a moan and he smiled, pulling back. "I love you," He whispered.

She smiled and ran her hands over his chest and around his sides. "I love you, too." She leaned in and kissed him again, holding him close to her. She broke the kiss and put her glasses down on the night stand, feeling his lips on her neck. She closed her eyes and let out a groan. "Oh, Ed."

He grinned and climbed on top of her, laying her down and continuing to kiss her neck. "You're so beautiful, so sexy," He whispered in her ear.

Olivia opened her eyes and pulled Ed up so she could look into his eyes. "Hi." She bit her bottom lip. "We need to work on getting you moved in here," she whispered.

Ed kissed her gently. "But I don't want to stop kissing you," he mumbled against her lips. He started kissing her again, pulling her leg up to wrap around his waist.

She pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around him, flipping them so she was straddling him. She broke the kiss and caressed his face. "We kiss for ten more minutes then we head over to your apartment and start packing things up, bring some stuff over." She raised an eyebrow.

"We kiss for fifteen minutes," he looked up at her, gripping her hips. "Then we do whatever else we have to."

Olivia thought for a minute and took her phone and set the timer on her phone for fifteen minutes and showed him. "Fifteen minutes, we're wasting time," she grinned and leaned in to kiss him again, feeling his hands run up her back.

Ed let his hands wander the expanse of her back, landing on her ass before moving his hands back to her hips, his thumbs running over the skin of her hips. He groaned as her hips slightly ground against his. "Liv," he whispered against her lips.

She bit at his lower lip, letting out a grunt to let him know she heard him as her hips continued to move against his at a slow, agonizing pace, a whimper fell from her lips when she broke the kiss, panting.

He caressed her face. "We don't have time," He whispered, groaning as he met her hips with thrusts of his own.

Olivia smirked and took one of his hands in her own and kissed his knuckles. "Always time for some foreplay, to make sure you know how much I want you, how much I will always want you, and need you."

Ed quickly flipped them and kissed her again, his hands moving under her top. He heard her sigh and he grinned, kissing down her jaw and her neck. "Goes both ways, baby."

She moved him so she could see his eyes. "I will always, as long as I am breathing, need you. Physically, emotionally," she whispered and wrapped him in her arms.

He kissed her cheek and down her neck, up to her ear. "I'll always be right here, and I will always need you." He looked into her eyes. "I will always be completely infatuated with and intoxicated by you. Nothing will ever change that."

Olivia kissed him. "I love you, and I don't deserve such an amazing man, but I am the luckiest woman alive to be able to call you mine. I'm never letting you go again," she whispered. Her alarm she set went off and she sat up, pushing him up. "I need to get dressed."

Ed kissed her once more and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Then we go pack some stuff up at my place," He whispered, saying their plan out loud.

She looked at him and smiled. "You okay there?" She asked, searching his eyes.

He kissed her forehead. "I am over the moon to be moving in here with you, I kind of can't believe it."

Olivia smiled and stood up. "Believe it. Just step one of our lives together." She leaned over and kissed him. "Us against the world."

Ed caressed her face. "I'm usually the one saying these things to you."

She sat on his lap and smiled, kissing him again. "You've rubbed off on me." She rested her forehead against his. "Let me get dressed," she whispered and kissed his lips once more, getting up and rifling through her clothes. She pulled out a pair of gray leggings and an old, oversized NYPD shirt. She changed out of his shirt and her yoga pants, seeing him watch her. "Captain," she smirked and changed into her clothes, walking up to him, wrapping him in her arms. "Ready to go?" She kissed at his neck.

He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. "You're torturing me," he whispered.

Olivia kissed his chest. "Who said we couldn't have a little fun at your place?" She asked and kissed his lips. "A midday romp, where we don't have to worry about who hears us?" She grinned. "Think about it."

Ed smiled and looked down at her. "We should christen the apartment at least once," he reasoned and kissed her softly.

"Plus I have a line," she chuckled against his lips.

"A line?"

"Ed, did you happen to see my panties on your bedroom floor?"

"No…" he looked at her skeptically.

"Would you like to?" She kissed him and ran her hands over his chest.

He laughed and caressed her face. "That was the cheesiest line I've ever heard."

Olivia shrugged and looked into his eyes. "I never said I was cool, and never promised my lines weren't gonna be cheesy."

Ed smiled. "You're adorable." He walked her back against the wall, speaking with every step. "And sexy, and beautiful." Once her back was against the wall he leaned in and kissed her passionately. His hand resting on her jaw feeling her hands run over his chest.

She moaned and wrapped her arms around him feeling his hands move over her body. She felt him pick her up and she gasped, breaking the kiss, looking into his eyes. "We should get going," she whispered and kissed him again.

He acknowledged her point with a grunt and heard her chuckle as their kiss continued. He broke the kiss as he set her on the bed. "You need socks and shoes," he murmured against her lips, pushing her to lie down as he kissed down her body.

Olivia let out a moan and pulled him up for a kiss, maneuvering so the were both on the bed. "Two can play this game," she whispered as she leaned in and kissed him, straddling him in the process.

Ed groaned. "So are we—"

She cut him off with her lips before pulling back. "We can't very well seem to get out of the bedroom, can we?" She asked, her shirt coming off over her head, throwing it to the floor she smiled.

He ran his hands over her skin, massaging her breasts hearing her moans as her hips once again started to move into his. "You're gonna kill me," He seethed and gripped her ass.

Olivia smirked and leaned over him. "Not just foreplay now," she whispered and moved back on the bed, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, pulling them and his boxers off his body. "I want to taste you," she whispered, stroking his hard length in front of her, licking her lips as looked into his eyes before taking him into her mouth. First, just the tip, then slowly taking the rest of him in, relaxing her throat until she had his entire length in her mouth. She looked up at him as she started moving her mouth over him.

Ed seethed and reached down, moving her hair out of the way as he watched her. He seethed and gripped her hair, his hips bucking into her mouth. "Christ," he closed his eyes, unable to take the look she was giving him. "Liv."

She hummed and let him go with a pop, using her hand to stroke him. "Like it?"

He looked down at her, sitting on her knees between his legs and stroking his hard member. "Love it," he choked out.

Olivia giggled, smiling at the affect she had on him. "Good," she took him back in her mouth, using her tongue, sucking as she went along, every once in awhile, giving him a sultry look through her lashes.

Ed groaned, his head back against the pillow. "Fuck Liv," he gripped her hair and looked down at her. "I'm not going to last much longer."

She released him again, stroking him. "So let go," She bit her bottom lip. "Let me taste you, Ed." She took him back in her mouth and took her balls in his hand, gently massaging them.

He groaned and felt the muscles in his abdomen tighten. "Fuck Liv, I'm gonna come." He closed his eyes let the sensations take over his body, feeling his release shoot into her mouth.

Olivia groaned and swallowed everything he gave her. She released him and licked her lips. "Mm." She kissed up his body, feeling him flip her and she let out a yelp. She looked down at him in shock.

Ed smirked. "My turn," He whispered and pulled her leggings and panties down running his fingers over her slit, groaning. "God, you're so wet," he whispered, kissing her inner thighs before settling between them, licking up her slit and groaning. "So good," he whispered and pushed his tongue inside her seeing her back arch, hearing her moan.

She ran her fingers through his short hair, her other hand coming up to palm her lace covered breast as he started to suck in her clit. "Ed! Oh, God Ed." She moaned as her hips bucked up into his face.

He smirked and continued to suck her clit while his fingers pushed into her, moving fast and hard inside her. He found her g spot and massaged it, hearing her moans get louder as he sucked harder on her clit.

Olivia's eyes rolled back and her back arched. She was in a perfect state of euphoria. All she could do was moan, and the only word that fell from her lips was his name. Over and over. "Ed!" She felt her orgasm take over, it had only taken minutes, but it never took him long when his mouth met her most intimate area.

Ed smirked as her orgasm spilled from her body, he licked her clean and kissed up her body, then kissed her lips. They both groaned at the taste of themselves on the other's lips. He pulled away. "God I love making you come."

She was still catching her breath from her orgasm. "That was, wow," she grinned and ran her hands over his chest. "We need to change the sheets," she giggled and blushed.

He kissed her again. "You're so, so sexy," he whispered and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.

Olivia ran her hands over his chest. "As much as I want to go and move you in today, I'm voting on a shower and then having a lazy day in bed."

Ed nuzzled her nose and kissed her forehead. "I'm with you," He whispered and ran his hand over side. "Shower?"

She smiled. "First let's change the sheets, then shower, then I need to set my alarm so we're up to pick Noah up from school, just in case we fall asleep."

They got up and quickly changed the sheets, between the two of them. "I'll throw these in the laundry," Ed kissed the top of her head. "Go start the water and I'll be in, in a second."

Olivia kissed him softly and walked into the bathroom, getting the shower water to the perfect temperature, seeing Ed walk in. "Shower's ready." He reached around her back, unhooking her bra, the last piece of clothing she had on, letting it fall to the floor. "Now, take that shirt off and join me."

Ed watched her step into the shower, let her head fall back, and her back arch as the water fell over her body. He pulled his polo off and stepped in, holding her hips and looking into her eyes. "I love you, Olivia Margaret Benson. More than I've ever loved anyone else."

She looked up at him and smiled. "I love you, Edward James Tucker." She bit her bottom lip. "And I trust you," She caressed his face and nuzzled his neck.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her to him. "Liv?"

Olivia smiled. "Hm?" She asked, her head on his chest.

Ed opened his mouth to speak and then closed it, feeling her head move, looking up into his eyes. He caressed her face. "Thank you," was all he could say. He had more on his mind, but this wasn't the time, this wasn't how he wanted to ask her the most important question of their lives. "Just… thank you." He leaned in and kissed her passionately under the spray of the shower.

She smiled against his lips and once they broke the kiss she looked into his eyes. "You never have to thank me." Her voice was barely a whisper, smiling at the feeling of his thumbs stroking her hips.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are always welcomed! Again, this was more of a filler until tonight's episode airs and a new chapter can be written!**


	6. Not Pretending

**A/N: I'm back. This one is a little less dramatic than I was hoping, I was hoping for a huge secret, which we didn't get. But what she did share, even though we already knew it, hit really close to home for me. Anyway, this starts after "Something Happened".**

Olivia sat on the couch, nursing a bourbon, the TV off, staring at the wall, her face tear stained, her eyes puffy. She saw Ed walk in and her eyes met his, fighting back tears. She was afraid to open her mouth, running the risk of completely breaking.

Ed looked at her, worry evident on his face. "Liv, where's Noah?"

She swallowed and took another sip of her drink, looking down into the glass. "With Sheila. I asked her to take him tonight. I needed a night to break down and I didn't want Noah to see it." She wiped her face.

He sat next to her and put an arm on her shoulder and she flinched and stiffened. She was scaring him. "I'm sorry. Liv, what happened?"

Olivia smiled and looked over at Ed, sniffling. "This case I just worked and closed." She bit her bottom lip. "It just." She shook her head. "Between bringing up feelings from Lewis, my dad, my mom…" she looked anywhere but at his face because she was still on the verge of a full blown melt down and his eyes would only ensure that the melt down would happen quicker.

Ed gingerly rubbed her back and took the bourbon from her hands, looking at her. "Talk to me, Liv. Please."

She wiped her eyes and smiled. "The subject of hate came up, and what I'd done about mine. And I beat Lewis with a metal bar. And my dad…" she scoffed. "He had a wife and a son, and my brother had everything. He had a mom and dad who loved him. God it made me question whether he actually raped my mom. And my mom, my mom was a miserable drunk who couldn't have cared less about me." She peeked at Ed, taking a deep breath. "He called me when I was younger. My dad." She shook her head. "My mom answered and hung up. He knew about me, he knew what I looked like. He had newspaper clippings of me. I don't know if that's sweet or creepy." She sniffled and buried her head in her hands. "And I had to deal with the feeling of being collateral damage all over again."

He looked at how small she looked sitting next to him. It was only now that he realized how she was sitting, trying to take up as little space as possible and his heart shattered. "Liv," he whispered and pulled her into a hug.

Olivia fell into him and she tried to fight the impending breakdown. "I just…" she clutched his shirt and her body tensed up as silent sobs started to wrack her body.

Ed held her and closed his eyes. "Shh, shh, shh." He soothed and stroked her hair, letting her cry into his chest. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Once she relaxed she looked into his eyes and wiped her own. "I'm sorry," she looked down at her hands. "I—" She shook her head.

He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. "Hey, you never have to apologize to me, for anything, but especially not for leaning on me when you need support. And you are not collateral damage." He searched her eyes. "I know how you got here, and maybe it wasn't romantic and full of love like it should have been, but God, Liv, I thank God everyday that you were born." He kissed her temple. "And I know a lot of other people feel the same way. Liv, I would be miserable without you, Noah would be God knows where without you."

Olivia shrugged. "Even if I had one parent who loved me and made me feel like I mattered." She looked down as her tears streamed down her face. "I just wanted to be good enough for someone to love."

Ed lifted her chin. "You're more than good enough for me to love," He whispered and kissed her forehead. "I look at you Olivia, and I swear you're too good for me. And I'm just so lucky you let me in, and you let me love you."

She looked into his eyes and smiled softly. "I love you, Ed. Thank you for being here for me, tonight and always." She kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder.

He kissed her head and wrapped his arm around her. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." He rubbed her arm. "Have you eaten?"

Olivia curled up next to him. "It probably would have been a good idea. I got home and once Sheila came for Noah, I poured myself some bourbon and started drinking."

Ed pulled her into his lap. "Chinese?" He asked in a hushed tone into her hair.

She smiled and looked into his eyes and nodded. "Yeah." She kissed him gently.

He kissed her back softly. "You relax, I'll call and order dinner." his lips moved against hers his fingers running through her hair.

Olivia kept her eyes closed and she nodded. "Perfect," she whispered and kissed him again, resting her hand on his jaw.

Ed kissed her, letting it get deeper for a few minutes, his hands running over her thighs before he pulled away and ran his fingers over her lips. "You need food, you've been drinking and your head isn't in a good spot, I don't know that this is a good idea."

She looked at him, then down at her legs. She got up and walked away, nearly stumbling, feeling tears in her eyes. She saw Ed get up and move towards her, pulling her hand away when he reached out to touch her arm. "I'm fine," she spat.

He looked at her. "Liv, what just happened?" He was confused. Two minutes ago she was in his lap, upset, leaning on him, but it was like a switch flipped.

Olivia turned around and looked at him. "Am I really good enough for you? Or are you seeing how damaged I am? Tell me, because you've never stopped kissing me like that before."

Ed moved closer and gently touched her arm. "I stopped because I knew where that was going." He turned her face. "I stopped because you've been drinking, on an empty stomach, and you're hurting right now. I don't want you to wake up with a clear head tomorrow and feel like I used you."

She wiped her eyes. "Yes, I've been drinking, I'm upset, and I haven't eaten much. But I would never feel like you used me. Ever. I haven't even had that much to drink." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." Her eyes looked up to his. "I'm a little more touchy today than usual. Just please… I need you to still want me. I need you to still love me."

He wrapped her in his arms. "Olivia," he looked down and caressed her face, feeling her lean into his touch. "I'm never gonna stop loving you. I'm never gonna stop wanting you." He searched her eyes and kissed her forehead. "I'm always gonna be right here. It's not that I don't want to, Liv. I want to help you forget, make you feel loved, but you need to eat, and no more bourbon."

Olivia nodded and looked into his eyes, running her fingers over his lips. "I love you Ed," she whispered and kissed him gently. "If you want to order dinner, I'm going to take a shower, have some water." She smiled and kissed him once more and looked into his eyes before walking off to the bathroom to shower.

Ed watched her walk away and he smiled. He picked up his phone and ordered the food. He moved to clean up the living room, putting her glass in the sink after emptying the bourbon down the sink, putting the bottle away. He put Noah's toys away and waited for Olivia to get out of the shower, putting on some soft music.

She walked out of the bathroom in one of his t shirts and sleep shorts. She walked up behind him, leaning over and kissing him softly. "Hi," she smiled and kissed his neck gently.

He smiled and groaned softly, feeling her lips on his neck. "Hi yourself."

Olivia walked around and sat on his lap. "Order the food?" She ran her hand over his chest, looking into his eyes.

Ed smiled. "It's on the way. Until then, why don't you just let me hold you, steal a few kisses, let the music take over and just be here, together, for a little."

She kissed his lips gently. "I can work with that," she murmured against his lips, kissing his lips again.

He ran his hand over her thighs, breaking the kiss softly. "Me too," he nudged her nose and kissed her neck, gently biting her skin.

Olivia let out a breath and closed her eyes. "Ed," she whispered and rested her hand on the back of his head.

Ed smiled and kissed back up to her lips. "You're beautiful," he whispered.

She smiled and looked into his eyes. "I never feel more beautiful than when you have me in your arms, kissing me all over," she ran her hands over his chest.

He just held her and kissed her head. "That's all I want. Is for you to feel loved, beautiful, and safe."

Olivia closed her eyes. "You make me feel all that and more." She took his hand in her own and nuzzled his nose. "I love you so much, Ed."

Ed smiled and gently kissed her lips. "I love you, too." He ran his free hand over her back and over her thighs. "I just want to stay with you like this forever."

She grinned. "I'm yours. Forever." She kissed him again and ran her tongue over his lips, feeling his tongue meet hers, she let out a soft moan. She maneuvered herself so she was straddling him.

He ran his hands under the shirt on her body and they let out a breath together. "God, Liv."

Olivia's eyes had darkened, "That food needs to get here now before I ravish you." She bit her bottom lip, staring into his eyes, her hands on the sofa behind his head.

Ed gripped her hips and kissed her. "If it doesn't get here soon I'm going to eat something else for dinner."

She smiled and let out a giggle. "I vote even if the food gets here soon enough, you still eat what your thinking of for dessert." She raised her eyebrows.

He smirked and moved so she was on her back on the couch, kissing down her body. He smirked as she writhed beneath him. Just as he was about to pull her shorts off there was a knock on the door and he smirked. "Timing." He kissed her stomach and stood up, opening the door, getting their food, tipping their delivery man and quickly ushering him out, closing and locking the door behind him. "Food first?"

Olivia beckoned him over with her finger. "Come finish what you started." She whipped the shirt over her head and smirked.

Ed put the food on the table by the door and walked back over to her, kissing her passionately, laying her back down before he kissed back down her body, paying attention to her breasts before he got to her shorts, running a finger under the waistband. "Tell me."

She sighed as his lips moved over her body. "Baby, please!" She begged, looking down at him.

"Please what?"

"Ed."

"Tell me what you want," he smirked and kissed along the waistband of her shorts.

Olivia whined, needing more from him. "Take off my shorts and my panties," she ran her fingers through his short hair.

Ed wasted no time, removing her last pieces of clothing. "Now what?"

She groaned. "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

He kissed her inner thighs, avoiding where he knew she wanted him. "Tell me what you want from me."

Olivia arched her back, her hands covering her breasts. "Lick my pussy, baby. Please."

Ed grinned and kissed her slit and looked up at her. "Whatever you want, my love." He licked up her slit, wrapping his lips around her clit, sucking softly, letting out a soft moan.

She let out breathy moan, closing her eyes. "Ed," she whispered. She rested a hand on the back of his head, her hips grinding into his face. "Fuck, baby." She felt his fingers inside her pussy and she gasped. "Oh my God, Ed." She looked down at him to see his eyes looking back at her. "Don't stop baby." She let her head fall back and moaned.

He smirked and kept moving his fingers inside of her, and kept licking and sucking her clit. He groaned and only stopped momentarily to speak. "Come on baby," he whispered and took her clit back in between his lips, sucking again.

Olivia let out a loud moan, gripping the back of his head. "Baby!" She gasped and her hips bucked into his face as her orgasm took over her body. "Oh, fuck, Ed!" She let out a breath and collapsed back on the couch. She pulled him up, her breath heavy. "Oh my God." She kissed him before looking into his eyes. "You're so good at that."

Ed smirked. "You good?" He asked, watching her catch her breath.

She smiled. "Mm, for now." She ran her hands over his shoulders. "Now, what can I do for you?"

"Oh no, tonight is all about you. Let's eat something, and then I plan on pleasing you all night." He grinned and stood up. "I'll get the food, don't move a muscle."

Olivia watched him as he got the food and walked back. She sat up, making room for him as he sat down and passed out the food, which was still hot. She opened the lo mein and grabbed a set of chopsticks while he opened his pepper steak. She sat next to him and kissed his cheek softly. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.

Ed smiled and rested his hand on her thigh. "I love you, too." He looked at her. "God, you're beautiful."

She blushed and took a bite of her food. "You're not too bad on the eyes yourself, Captain."

He kissed her temple and took a bite of his food. "Thank you," He whispered.

Olivia furrowed her brow. "For What?"

Ed put his food down and put hers down and took her hands. "Letting me in, not trying to go through this on your own. Not pretending to be fine. Trusting me."

"Ed." She caressed his face. "Thank you, for being the man you are." She kissed his lips softly. "Now, let's finish dinner so we can get to that pleasure you were talking about earlier." She winked.

"Whatever you want, baby."

 **A/N: I hope you all like this. It probably isn't the best, actually, I can almost promise it's not. But, not every chapter can be the best, right? Please review.**


	7. Team

**Back with another update. This veers slightly from 'Gone Baby Gone' but not too much. Enjoy.**

 _"Would it be okay if I got Noah a nice warm winter coat? Would that be okay?"_

 _"I think he would love that."_

 _"What? When?"_

Olivia sat in the front seat of the SUV as Fin drove to the mall and shot off a text to Ed. _Noah's missing_. That was all she said. It was all she could think of. The fact that her son was missing was all that consumed her thoughts. In that moment, she wanted Ed there. She needed his strength.

Ed saw the text and he felt his breath leave his body. _Where are you? Do you want me to meet you there?_ Ed wanted to be with her. Maybe he could find something that would make finding Noah easier. Maybe he could just be there for her. Either way, he couldn't just sit at the apartment.

She looked at her phone when it buzzed. _Mall of Manhattan. And I want you here more than anything, but can you maybe stay at the apartment in case he comes home? I'll keep you updated._

He felt slightly defeated. But he accepted what she wanted him to do, and it made sense. She didn't want him home by himself. _You got it. Please be safe, you'll find him. I know it._ He didn't know how, but in his gut he knew Noah was coming home.

Olivia let out a breath when she received his text. Not long after, she was on her way to Sheila's apartment, letting Ed know every step of the way. _Ed, he's not here. Someone took him._ She felt her chest constrict. She couldn't breathe. They stayed at Sheila's for a bit before making their way back to the squad. _On our way back to the squad room. Meet me there? I need you._

Ed saw the text and he was up in an instant and out the door. _On my way._ He rushed down to the precinct and found her in her office. He rushed to her and she fell into his arms crying. "I've got you."

She shook her head. "What if we don't find him, Ed." She sobbed. "I can't lose my son. Since this whole mess started, the only thing I know for sure is I can't survive losing Noah."

He rubbed her back. "Okay, sit down for me," he gently led her to sit in her office chair and he knelt before her. "Liv, I'm not going to tell you to try and stay calm. But I am going to tell you, you have the best detectives and Sergeant out there looking for Noah. We'll find him. I promise."

Olivia looked into his eyes and nodded. She heard her phone ring and she answered it. "What?" She got out of her chair and ran to the mirror looking into the interrogation room. "Son of a bitch." She ran out of her office. "Where's Sheila?"

Ed watched her and stood at the doorway of her office. Hearing Sheila was gone, and the look on Olivia's face told him all he needed to know. He watched her run off and he nodded. He looked at Amanda and let out a breath. "They need to find him. It'll break her."

Amanda nodded. "I know."

Within an hour Olivia was back, dejected, tears in her eyes. She walked into her office and fell into Ed's chest. "How I could I have been so stupid, Ed?" She asked, her chest feeling tight again. "I let her in. I trusted her with Noah, and all she wanted was to take him. How could I have been so blind? From day one, I had a feeling. Why did I ignore it?"

Ed held her. "She manipulated you, she's good at this. Do not blame yourself for what that woman did." He rubbed her back. "Breathe for me, Liv. We're gonna get him back. If it is the last thing I do, I swear to you we will find him and bring him home."

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Where is she? Where did she take him?" She ran her fingers through her hair. "I can't think." She felt his arms around her again and she let out a breath. "She doesn't know anyone here. We have a car outside her place in New Hampshire. She's not going there. She's too smart."

He kissed her head. "We'll find him." The next few hours felt like days. Finally Barba walked in and mentioned that Sheila's sister had a cabin. "Come on." He took her hands. "Let's go get Noah."

They made it to New Hampshire in record time. Ed stayed outside, back from the cabin. He didn't want to mess this up. He watched her go in. Fifteen minutes later he saw Noah run out, scared. Ed ran up to him. "Tucker!" He ran up and hugged him. "Mommy and Grandma Sheila are fighting."

"I know they are bud. Look at me, you okay?" He checked over Noah and not seeing any blood he held onto him, and walked over to the ambulance once it arrived, hanging there with Noah. "It's okay."

"Where's Mommy?" He asked, just wanting to see his mother. This was all too much for him.

"She'll be here soon. I promise." He saw her leading Sheila out of the cabin, handcuffed. He watched her put the older woman in a squad car and saw her jog over. "Look who it is."

"Sweet boy!" She climbed in the ambulance and held him tight. "I'm about ready to get home, how about you?"

Noah made the observation about Olivia Sheila fighting again and asked. "Is she a bad person?"

"Grandma Sheila is a good person who did a very bad thing. You understand?" Seeing him nod she smiled. "Now, the three of us, let's head back with Aunt Amanda and Uncle Sonny. Maybe talk them into stopping for pancakes." Olivia got her and Noah out of the ambulance and looked at Ed. "And thank you."

"You did all the work, I just came along for the ride."

Olivia shook her head. "No, you were there for me. You held me. You kept me sane." She kissed his cheek. "Come on. Let's go home. I need my family right now."

Ed smiled and took her her hand and walked with her and Noah back to the car, climbing in and holding her hand on the way back. Once they got home, Noah was asleep. He carried him and Eddie up to the apartment, and laid him down. Olivia kissed his forehead and walked to his doorway. Ed was standing a few feet away. "Liv," he whispered.

She turned and looked at him. She walked away but kept the door cracked. "He wasn't taken by a stranger, Ed. I could lock up the entire place with fifteen deadbolts and bars on all the windows. It wouldn't have stopped this." She felt tears in her eyes. "I let his kidnapper into his life."

He rested his hand on her shoulder. "You can't beat yourself up for this."

"Can't I?" Olivia asked him, looking into his eyes. "If it weren't for me ignoring my instincts, this never would have happened."

Ed caressed her face. "With a PI, That's not a guarantee. And you were just doing what you thought was best for Noah. Beating yourself up isn't going to change this. What Sheila did is awful, but no matter how much you beat yourself up, you can't go back in time and fix it."

She nodded. "I know," she whispered and fell against his chest. "I'm so tired, Ed. I want to sleep. I want to do nothing but. And yet I feel like no matter what I do I'm not going to be able to."

He nodded. "Tell you what how about we camp out on the couch for tonight? You'll hear if he comes out of his room, or if anyone comes in."

"You'd do that for me?"

"I'd do whatever you want. Come on. Let's get changed, get a pillow and some blankets.

"You know the couch is a pull out. It's not comfortable, but at least we have something resembling a bed, so I'm not dead weight on top of you all night. How about I change, set up the pull out, and you grab the pillows and blankets."

He smiled and kissed her softly. "I wouldn't mind you sleeping on top of me, but the sofa bed sounds like a plan. Go get changed, beautiful."

Olivia smiled and kissed him once more before changing into a baggy pair of NYPD sweats and one of his old t-shirts. She walked back out and kissed his shoulder blades. "Go get changed, baby. I'll set up out here."

Ed smiled and looked at her. "How do you look so sexy in everything you wear?"

She shrugged and kissed him again watching him walk off, moving the coffee table and pulling the cushions off, opening the sofa bed. She saw him come out in boxers and a t-shirt with the pillows on the bed and some blankets. "Now who looks sexy in everything?" She asked and smiled.

He shook his head and chuckled. "Come on." He put the pillows down and they laid on the bed, he covered them up with blankets and he held her close. "Try and get some sleep, baby."

Olivia nodded and curled up in a ball next to him. "I love you, Ed." She whispered and felt the blankets surround her.

Ed smiled and held her tightly. "I love you, too." He stroked her hair and watched her eyes close, feeling her breathing even out. She was asleep. He pulled her closer without waking her up and closed his eyes, falling asleep himself.

About an hour later Olivia awoke with a start. She threw the blankets off and rushed to Noah's room, seeing him sleeping soundly. She let out a breath and watched him for a few minutes until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She gasped. And turned around seeing Ed. She let out a breath and closed her eyes. "Sorry." She whispered.

He led her away from the door and held her close. "He's safe." He whispered in her ear. "He's home, and he's safe."

Olivia sobbed into his chest, she gripped his shirt. "What is wrong with me? She asked in a small voice. "I don't understand."

Ed held her tight. "You're a mother," He whispered into her hair. "There's nothing wrong with you, Olivia." He looked into her eyes. "You're perfect." He wiped her eyes. "Come on, sit down and I'll make you some tea."

She nodded and sat down but before he walked away she took his hand and pulled him down and kissed his lips softly. "Thank you," She whispered against his lips.

He kissed her back and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Anything for you." He kissed her once more then walked to the kitchen and made her some tea. While it was steeping he walked back into the living room. "Want me to put a teaspoon of bourbon to help calm your nerves?" He asked, softly.

Olivia nodded. "Just a teaspoon." She whispered and touched his chest.

Ed held her hand. "Hey, you're okay. Noah's okay. That's all that matters."

She looked into his eyes. "You forgot about yourself," she whispered.

He smiled softly. "And I'm okay," he whispered and kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back." He walked back into the kitchen, added some honey and some bourbon to the tea and stirred it, taking the tea bag out. He walked back into the living room and sat next to her on the sofa bed, handing her the tea cup. "Drink up."

Olivia smiled softly and took a sip. She rested the cup on the side table and took his hands in hers. "This was hard on you, too." She said matter of factly.

Ed paused for a minute but she nodded. "It was." He ran his fingers over her legs. "I saw another one of my kids disappearing from my life. "I've thought of Noah as mine for a long, long time. Sitting here while you were looking for him was killing me."

She caressed his face. "We're all together again," she whispered and kissed him softly. "I'm sorry I've been focusing on my feelings about this. It's not fair to you."

He smiled gently. "You needed comforting more than anything. You two were, and have always been, my first priority."

Olivia smiled and kissed him softly. "You are the best man I could have ever asked for." She pulled him in for another kiss, her lips lingering on his a little longer.

Ed kissed her back and broke the kiss softly. "I'm so lucky," he whispered and pulled her into his lap. "I have the woman of my dreams in my lap, and the son I've always wanted is sleeping in his bed. The two of you are safe, my daughter is safe. That's all that matters to me."

She caressed his face. "We're a family." She smiled and took a few more sips of her tea, resting against him. "I'm taking some time off. Which was probably a no brainer, I need time with my family. You, me, and Noah. I need time just the three of us."

He nodded. "You also need to sleep."

Olivia smiled. "Yeah." She finished her tea, calmed down significantly and rested against him. "You know, we need to lean on each other. As much as you don't want me dealing with this on my own, I don't want you dealing with it on your own. We're a team."

Ed kissed her softly. "I promise, I'll talk to you if you talk to me."

She rested her head on his chest. "I promise." She listened to his heart beat. "We should try to get some more sleep."

He ran his fingers through her hair. "I know it won't be easy, baby, but try to get a little more sleep. You have to take care of you."

Olivia smiled. "I know, and with you holding me, it'll be a lot easier than it would be if I were alone."

Ed held her tight. "Then I will hold you as long as you need me to."

"Never let go," she whispered and closed her eyes.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope it was decent. I've been sick but I wanted to make sure this got up. Once I know what's going on this Wednesday on _Pathological_ I'll be back with another update! Please review! **


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